Fuck-up Prevention Grid

My first tool is The Fuck-up Prevention Grid Graciously appropriated crassly stolen for my own use from a relapse prevention grid. This will eventually be expanded into a whole chapter about this device.

Explaination:

You’re a Fuck-up, get over it.

Seriously, get the fuck over it. Down at the bottom of the food chain, there’s plenty of animals that just know  what they know. But as you get higher up, you have to learn that shit, and learning involves fuck-ups. Human beings, the most self-important animal, learns mostly (and endemically) through fucking up. What you can do however, is prevent your fuck-ups from causing you to fuck up even more.

SHIT YOU FUCKED UP


Write down your fuck-up right here, be brutally fucking honest to yourself otherwise throw this shit away and go cry in a corner.

Example: Being a judgemental prick "I spread shit all over town about that fucker Jim I don't like at the office."

YOUR BULLSHIT EXCUSE


You’re not going to de-progam yourself unless you learn to recognize your own bullshit. Write your sorry-ass excuse right here.

Example: "He's a mouth-breathing son-of-bitch who allways talks about how great he is." (What are you stupid? You think the solution to someone being a dick is to be a dick? Congratulations, you're a real fucking genius. Asshole.)

YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE FEELINGS


Aww, how cute. Your own bullshit makes you feel bad. WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN MAGGOT.

Example: Smug Moral Superiority.

FEEL IT IN YOUR GUT MAGGOT


Your fuck-ups have a physical fucking sensation, once you learn to recognize this you can start feeling an attack of the fuck-ups coming on and stop that shit.

Example: It hurts, right in my dick.

THAT BULLSHIT THAT YOU DO


Guess what? When you tell yourself bullshit, you feel bullshit, your body feels bullshit, and then you do bullshit.

Example: "I keep being a self-righteous asshole. I literally look right down my nose at people and straight into my own bullshit."

WTF YOU’RE DOING ABOUT IT

What are you, stupid? This shit is self-explainatory: WRITE HOW YOU’RE NOT FUCKING UP ANYMORE. This part’s important: Don’t write what you’re going to do. Write what you’re doing right now as of this fucking minute.

Example: Don't be a dick, Seriously: HOW NOT TO BE A DICK IN ONE EASY STEP: DON'T. BE. A. DICK.

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